In defense of Valentines Day

It started about a month ago. I was on the bus home from dinner with friends when I overheard the girl sitting in front of me proclaim her utter disdain for this wretched holiday. Fast forward to this week and my facebook newsfeed is littered with articles on how men are the worst, Valentines day is the worst, and love is the absolute WORST. Either that or an article articulating why pizza makes the ideal valentine this year. (Hey, I don’t disagree!) I would feel safe in saying that Valentines Day is the most hated holiday. Not only that but it has become cool to hate on Valentines Day. Today is the day where girls bond over their mutual hatred of everyone with a significant other and make self-deprecating jokes about how nobody loves them. (Not hating on self-deprecating jokes here, they are some of my favorite kinds of jokes.)



In case you were wondering what my thoughts about Valentines day are,  I will refer you to the #12 bullet point on my about me page.

Actually, I’ll save you the time. Here it is:

I love love. Bob Goff said it best "It will be our love, not our opinions which will be the greatest contribution to the world.".


If you've already had too much chocolate and your powers of deduction aren’t working properly today, I’ll make it very simple for you: I love Valentines Day. It happens to be one of my favorite holidays. However, what I don’t like is what Valentines Day has become. Somehow this day has veered so far off of course from what it was meant to be and turned into something so commercialized. It shouldn’t be about the stuff, or how much you got, or what huge grand gesture was done for you. And if you are single, like myself  it shouldn’t be about moping around or hating on everyone in a relationship. Ladies, if we need a refresher on envy on Valentines Day you can go back and read my “Loving other women” article HERE. Its hard not to compare when your Instagram feed is nothing but flowers, chocolate, and cute pictures of couples kissing though, I know.



What I really love is Valentines Day stripped down to its very core idea: to give love. While every day provides us with a excellent time to give love, today you are meant to love just a little harder. How can anyone hate that?

Easy. You can hate it when you are focused on the love you are GETTING rather than being focused on the love you are GIVING.

This holds true whether you are in a relationship or not. Again, its all about changing your perspective and outlook and suddenly you will see the day in whole new light. Lets make today about working extra hard to reach out to those around us and making them feel so loved and special. Lets focus on giving love. There is really so much joy in making others feel special- I promise its more fulfilling than any gift you could receive today.

There are many ways to do this but I have come up with a little list to get you started!




Ideas for unattached people: (Like how I used unattached instead of single?)

•     Have a galentines day party (or sleepover because you are never too old for a sleepover)

•     Write letters to those you love and mail them

Yes, my parents are my Valentines this year. So what? :)

•     Volunteer somewhere fun with a group of friends (like a retirement home valentines day party)

• Plan a special Valentines Day surprise for a friend

• Host a girls night wine tasting complete with cheese and chocolate

• Coordinate with a friends out of town significant other to help surprise them

Ideas for people in a relationship:

• Bake Valentines Day treats together and deliver them to your friends

• Write your significant other a detailed love letter (To me, this is the best gift)

• Purchase and go through the book “All about us” together.

• Create a yearly tradition such as going on a hike just you two or building a blanket fort

• Make a relationship bucket list for the year

• Put together a scavenger hunt for your significant other with meaningful locations

• Volunteer together

• Create a keepsake box for your significant other where they can keep little reminders from your relationship such as ticket stubs, notes, pictures, etc.

• Make breakfast for your significant other (or any other meal but who are we kidding, breakfast is the best meal of the day) .

Two years ago I was very much in love and naturally that translated into a myriad of heart-shaped breakfast foods on Valentines morning. Note to future self: maybe only stick with one heart-shaped item next time. This might be a little bit overkill.

"Let all that you do be done in love." - 1 Corinthians 16:14

Religious or not, this verse has the ability to be so powerful in changing the way you go about your life. Lets all try and apply it to our actions not only today but every day.


Now get out there and make someone's Valentines Day great!


P.S.- Happy Valentines Day to you! May your day be filled with more love and candy than you know what to do with!

Healthy dessert series: Protein Pudding

I really, really love chocolate. And candy. And cupcakes. And every other food that is bad for you.

Oh, and doughnuts. I really like doughnuts. And It doesn’t help that there are 5 doughnut shops within a block of my office. (Curse you nutulla and cookie butter filled doughnuts!)


As you might predict, my love of all things unhealthy does not necessarily make it easy to live a healthy and nutritious lifestyle all of the time. Even when I am full and satisfied I feel as though I can always make room for a chocolate bar.

So... what is a girl to do when faced with this dilemma? Eat healthy or give in to the incessant cravings for sweets?

Obviously the answer is eat healthy! If you answered give in than you are officially banned from my blog starting now...

Wait.. come back! I didn’t mean it!



Lucky for you I have found a few fantastic solutions! Today I will post just one and then there will be a few more posted in the upcoming weeks.

I hereby give you my top go-to treat when I just NEED some dessert. You’re welcome in advance.





Protein pudding

If you have not discovered Jello brand fat-free, sugar-free instant pudding mix yet then I feel bad for you, son. You have 99 problems and the lack of pudding is one. (I apologize- I really tried to not add that but I couldn’t help myself) It the past few weeks this has been my go-to snack when I can’t go one more minute without some kind of delicious treat. I seriously could write an entire novel on my love affair with this pudding but I’ll try and keep it brief.


Step 1: Buy which ever flavor of pudding mix you desire (Vanilla, Chocolate, Cheesecake, Chocolate Fudge, Butterscotch or my personal favorite, Banana Creme)


Step 2 (optional): Happily skip home from the grocery store in anticipation of the glorious gift your taste buds are about to receive.


Step 3: Choose your flavor protein. I have been putting vanilla protein in the Banana Creme pudding but really the possibilities are endless. (Ex: Mocha protein in chocolate pudding, Chocolate Peanut butter protein in Fudge pudding, etc.) Go crazy with it.


Step 4: Mix your dry pudding mix and your protein powder in a bowl. I have been doing two big scoops of protein per box but I haven’t really experimented with it so play around and see what turns out well.


Step 5: Add your milk. Because you are adding the protein powder you will have to use a little bit more of the milk than the package says to use. Skim milk, almond milk, lactose free milk- use whatever you want EXCEPT soy milk. Don’t make the same mistake as me- your pudding will not set if you use soy milk. And then you will be sad and end up looking silly while drinking your pudding through a straw.


Step 6: Toppings. Once your pudding has set (the 5 longest minutes of your life) you can scoop out how much you want at one sitting and really get fancy with your toppings. When I’m feeling like I deserve an extra special treat I cut up slices of banana for my banana cream pudding and then top it with Special K cornflakes and a dollop of fat-free cool whip. How yummy does that sound? It tastes even better than it sounds.



There you have it! A (relatively) healthy, high protein dessert option! I have calculated the nutrition facts for a serving of pudding (1/2 cup) using a skim milk base and the kind of protein I have been using (Optimum Nutrition Gold Standard Whey) just to give you an idea. If you end up getting distracted and consuming the entire batch of pudding in one sitting (which I totally haven’t done or anything), you should multiply the nutrition info by 4. But my suggestion would be to not do that in the first place- just because this is high protein doesn’t mean eating giant servings would be healthy.



Nutrition Facts for one serving of protein pudding:

Calories: 125
Fat: 0.5 g
Carbohydrates: 13.5g
Protein: 16g

*The majority of the flavors have this nutrition fact breakdown except for Chocolate Fudge

Hope you guys enjoy this little treat! Let me know in the comments section how it turns out for you and some of the interesting combinations you come up with- I’m looking for some good ones to try!

The secret to loving other women

Have you noticed that girls tend to have a love/hate relationship with other girls? For example, you love your close friends but hate that other group of girls who are just SO obnoxious. Even if your close friends also partake in this “obnoxious” behavior, whatever that may be, its okay because its “different” when your friends do it, or “funny” when they do it, or you just flat out choose to love them anyway.

Or have you ever disliked a girl for no reason? Or because they just rubbed you the wrong way? Or because they are “perfect”? Or because they are involved in EVERYTHING? Or because they are ahead of you in sales at work?

Yeah, unfortunately I have too.

This toxic behavior of girls hating girls is way too common and has to be brought to a stop. (I know, novel idea, right?) It’s everywhere: in the workplace, at school, between “rival” sororities. Imagine how much easier life would be if girls all just got along.

Yeah, yeah, I know I sound like the girl from Mean Girls:

“I wish we could get along like we all used to in middle school... I wish I could bake a cake out of rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy”

Except for yeah right, since when did girls get along in middle school? But I digress...

Next time you catch yourself having not-so-positive thoughts about another girl stop and ask yourself why. Really dig deep and get to the root of it. I guarantee that almost every time it will boil down to jealousy or envy- I know for me it did.

I had a big problem with this. It wasn’t that I outright hated anyone or even disliked anyone. In fact, I felt like I could give myself a big pat on the back for getting along really well with all girls. I think because it wasn’t so blatantly obvious it took me so long to recognize I even had a problem. My issue was that I just found it incredibly hard to be happy for other girls.

If a girl I knew won an award or got into an awesome grad school or had some kind of major accomplishment my first thought was: Ugh. I would then try and make up reasons in my head why she wasn’t better than me such as “she probably has no personal/social life” or “her personality is not that stellar”.

Just writing that down on my computer makes me nauseous. Trust me, I am embarrassed to be admitting this out loud- let alone to the entire internet. But that's what this blog is about- being open and vulnerable with my mistakes in hopes that someone, somewhere might learn a thing or two from them.

Anyways, why did I feel like everything was a competition?
Why was I constantly comparing myself to every other girl around me?

Then I realized- the problem lies within me and my own sense of self and security in who I am. And until I stop constantly comparing myself to everyone else this feeling and nasty attitude will continue to linger. And who wants that?

You have incredible talents that are unique to you. I don’t even know who you are but I feel 100% confident saying that. You know why? Because everyone has them. Everyone has things that they are great at and things that they are not so great at.

For me, I know I am good at:

Fitting into small spaces, planning events, having a desire for knowledge, developing leadership abilities in others, whistling, being supportive and empathetic, building forts out of sheets, and eating my body weight in breakfast foods.

However, I also know that I am not so good at: 
Singing, having flawless skin, being assertive, tasting the difference between ANY wine, remembering to respond to texts, putting my clean clothes away, being a 5’ 11’’ supermodel, and having any type of confrontation at all.

If I were to, for example, compare my humanitarian efforts in life thus far to 17 year old Nobel Peace Prize winner, Malala Yousafzai, I would feel as though I would come up short (only minorly, of course). Or if I compared my ability to simultaneously look effortlessly glamourous while fighting international injustice to Amal Alamuddin (aka George Clooney’s wife), I would, once again, not be feeling super-confident in my abilities.

But, as Albert Einstein so eloquently put it: “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

So true, Albert.

So lets stop comparing ourselves to other women. Lets stop being jealous and envious of the success of our friends. Lets stop making judgements about women we don’t even know!

EVERYONE has great, positive qualities. EVERYONE can teach you something. EVERYONE can make you a better person.

Instead, lets make it a point to learn something from everyone we come in contact with. Lets encourage one another and lift each other up. Lets celebrate the success of other women and be genuinely happy for them. After all, you shouldn’t have to dim the light of others to shine. (Corny, I know, but it got the point across)

I leave you with a quote that I’m sure you have heard a million times but could not be more true in every aspect of life.

“Comparison is the thief of joy” -Theodore Roosevelt

Think about it as you go through your week and whenever you start to feel that familiar twinge of jealousy, repeat it to yourself- see the difference that just changing your attitude will have on your relationships with not only your friends but with all women. I have a feeling there are some women out there who you could be close friends with if you just game them a chance.

8 Things to do When You Are New to Church

Going to church can be scary. In theory, it is supposed to one of the most welcoming places where people are open, accepting, and full of love. In reality, the church is filled with humans just like you and I who, while they may have good intentions, can be shy or clique-y or afraid to approach new people themselves.

And when you attend a church service for the first time it can be wildly uncomfortable. You don't know anyone, you may be just learning about Christianity, and you know none of the words to all of the songs they sing. And it is the WORST when you don't know the words to the songs! I have tried many different methods to make this less awkward such as not singing at all, attempting to mouth the words without making any actual sounds, and, my personal favorite, "accidentally" running just late enough to miss out on the singing...woops. Don't worry, you'll catch on to the songs within a few weeks. Moral of the story is that when you first start going to church, whether it be for the first time ever or even if you have considered yourself a Christian for a while and want to take the next step, it takes a while to get settled in, meet some people, and to really feel connected.

Side note: For all of you who are new to faith, this blog is very much geared towards you and my hope is that it can become a resource for you in this new section of your life! I, myself, was new to church not too long ago and was utterly terrified at a loss for how to make the transition from “new to church” to a regular who found community within it.

Going through this process, I have discovered a few steps that have helped me to settle in, meet tons of people, and keep my new-found faith at the front of my mind. Now I don't even "accidentally" run late to church anymore! ;) Here are 8 things I think are infinitely helpful to do when you are new to church:


1. Join a small group/ bible study

    If you have read my article on why you should join a small group you know my feelings towards this already. (You can read it here) I think this may be the single most important thing you can do when joining a new church and I have met some of my very best friends here in Chicago through my small group!

2. Sign up for volunteer opportunities with your church

    This is also a great way to meet new people within your church community while giving back. Very early on after moving here I volunteered to help paint a mural in the Pilsen neighborhood. Not only did I get to meet a bunch of people but I also got to make a lasting mark on Chicago and got a pretty sweet free t-shirt. And who doesn't love a free t-shirt?


3. Sit next to a stranger and introduce yourself

    Oh boy, this one can be an awkward one, I know. For about three weeks when I first moved to Chicago I was the creeper in church that preyed on unsuspecting church-goers hoping to find a friend. This was extremely out of my comfort zone but ultimately I was very glad I did it and I met some wonderful people that way. My trick was to come in when most people were already seated and find another girl around my age who was sitting by herself. Every time I did it the girl ended up being in the exact same situation as me and was so happy that I “made the first move”. One time I even ended up going out to brunch with two girls who I sat next to. Don’t forget to exchange numbers so you have someone to sit with the next week! And yes, it does feel like you are awkwardly hitting on people... suck it up and do it anyway!


4. Serve at church (usher, greeter, children’s ministry)

    I think that this is the fastest way to learn peoples faces and names around church. I am terrible with both faces and names unfortunately so this is an area where I will take as much help as I can get. In order to convince people that I am not the rudest person they've ever met because I can't remember their name after meeting them three weeks in a row, I am serving along with a friend in the coffee shop inside or our church starting this week. I'm hoping that the constant interaction with people will help me to get to know people on a deeper level instead of just getting introduced to them briefly after service. I’ll keep you updated how it goes!


5. Read, read, read!

Read your bible- that's what it exists for. In the beginning it may be confusing, hard to read, or just seem like a chore but I promise it is FULL of wisdom, interesting stories, and comforting verses. Give it a chance. And if you can get your hands on a study bible I would suggest doing that- so helpful. Most of us aren't theologians or experts in history at the time of Jesus so the study bible really helps to explain what the heck is going on. There is a lot more I can say about this and an article about how to read the bible will be coming soon(ish) I promise. This done in conjunction with a small group is the best way to expand your knowledge and grow in your faith if you are a beginner!


6. Quiet/prayer time

I love quiet/prayer time. I've tried to make a habit of doing it first thing in the morning- it's a great way to start your day in a positive and loving mindset. I really think that this small act can change your outlook on the entire day! Many people find praying intimidating when first starting out. What am I supposed to say? Do I have to use certain words? etc. Don't stress- just do your thing. I can't imagine God is sitting up there being the grammar police or judging you for not using at least 10 GRE words per prayer - he's just happy you are talking to him! I also promise to write an article on "how" to pray in the near future. Not that there is a right way and a wrong way but it will answer a lot of the questions that I have had about prayer!

7. Find a mentor

Maybe you had a professor mentor you in college or perhaps you were assigned a mentor when you began your job - now its time for a spiritual mentor! Be on the lookout for someone who has "been there, done that" and can now help to guide you through life. Preferably someone older and wiser who you can connect with on a personal level. If you are single or dating, consider someone who is newly married, if you are in medical school, law school, or graduate school, consider someone who had graduated from an advanced degree program and is now in the workforce, basically just find someone who has shared similar experiences with you in their past. P.S.- I currently don't have a mentor and am on the lookout for one so if anyone has any ideas....

8. Say yes!

    If someone you’ve met or have made friends with at church invites you to do something, say yes! Again, this may be a bit uncomfortable at first but its worth it. Recently I attended a party where I knew two people out of the 200 or so. I only said yes because someone from church had invited me and I will be honest, I was kind of dreading the idea of going. Once I was there, however, I met so many people and ended up having a pretty great time.

Another side note: Say yes does not apply to all situations. Remember kids, if someone asks you to get in their car after offering you candy, asks you to help them find their "lost dog", or offers you drugs...JUST SAY NO!



Hopefully you got something out of this article other than the fact that I like free t-shirts, have once skipped part of the church service so I didn't have to sing, and I can't remember peoples names for the life of me. Those were all just supporting stories to get at the real point and should be forgotten immediately.

In all seriousness I really do hope this article gave you some new ideas and helps you to find that community that we all crave. If you feel uncomfortable or like an outsider at your church during the first few months of attending just remember- every single person in that church has been in your shoes before. Everyone has to start somewhere and before you know it you will settle in and feel a part of the church's community.

How did you feel when attending church for the first time or adjust when moving to a new church? Share your story in the comments below!