Today my parents celebrate their 27th wedding anniversary. 27! That's huge! This means that they have existed together, as a married couple, quite a few years longer than they have existed on their own. As 20-something year-olds who struggle to keep a relationship locked down for even a year, that should seem pretty darn impressive to us.
I feel insanely lucky to have grown up seeing my parents' relationship as the most prominent example of a marriage in my life. Not only because of the fact that they are still together after all of this time but also because of the way in which they demonstrated that love to my sister and I.
So, in honor of my Mom and Dad (hi guys, I know you are reading this and hope you aren't too embarrassed), I give you: 5 things I learned from my parents marriage.
1. Marriage is hard and you need to work at it
This concept has been drilled into my sister and I's heads since we were young enough to understand what it meant. And I am so thankful for that. I think that a lot of people go into relationships thinking that if it's meant to be than it will be so easy and natural. I'm certainly guilty of this but it couldn't be more wrong.
"Compatibility" only matters to a certain extent - you will never be fully compatible with anyone and many fights and conflicts are bound to happen. What matters is how you handle the conflict and relational struggles. Are you going to put in the time and effort to figure it out and work on the things you need to work on as a person or are you going to throw in the towel because it's too difficult?
Personally, I think that a person's willingness to do whatever work and personal growth it takes to make a relationship work is the #1 thing to look for in a significant other. If your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse isn't willing to fight tooth and nail for your relationship, how much does it really mean to them?
2. Be each others best friend and biggest supporter
I think I've heard my Mom say "your dad is my best friend" more times than I could count. And it's true - they are the first person the other one goes to for anything at all. They also encourage and support one another in everything they do. Even if that "everything" is something silly like my Mom encouraging my Dad to bid on a ancient rusty Scout truck because she knows that it would make him happy. (Fingers crossed you win today, Dad)
Sometimes when parents become empty-nesters they don't know what to do with themselves because they realize they haven't actually had a connection with their spouse in years - it's all been focused on the children. This worry has never crossed my mind due to the fact I know my parents are best friends - in fact, my parents became a lot more fun after my sister and I left the house. I think they even threw a party celebrating our departure.
3. Never stop joking and playing with one another
Just because you are married and have been for a long time does not mean you should stop flirting with one another. My parents still jokingly poke fun of and tease each other and it's refreshing to see. Although, I'm fairly certain that the majority of my Dad's jokes go way over my Mom's head and she doesn't even realize shes being made fun of most of the time. Hey, it just makes it that much funnier for me to watch. (Sorry Mom - we love you.)
4. Communication is vital
This is another concept that had been repeated in our house over and over and over again. With good reason - it's the backbone to any relationship. Being open, honest, and vulnerable in communication leads to fewer misunderstandings and a better grasp on to how best love the other person. You can't expect for someone to know how you feel unless you tell them. Plus, without communication in a relationship you are essentially two strangers living life right next to each other but never really connecting on that deep, meaningful level. I don't know about you but that's not the kind of relationship I want.
5. You are never too old for PDA
I have mixed feelings on this one. While I think its awesome (in theory) that two people, after 27 years, are still in love enough to partake in PDA, maybe I don't want to see it in the kitchen as I attempt to eat my breakfast. Just a thought.
Mom, Dad - Happy Anniversary! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for setting the wonderful example that you do for Casey and I. We are full of proudness to call you our parents. (I'm not terrible at grammar, people. It's a family joke :) ) We love you and know that this next 27 years will be even better than the first 27. Now go out and take some shots in St.Augustine to celebrate!
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